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Musings and Meanderings

Thursday, May 20, 2004

AP – 5/21/04

Republicans replace Elephant as symbol with the Ignoramus Americanus.

By the late 90's scientists were very worried that this rare breed had nearly been educated to extinction.

But the Republican National Committee, in celebration of four years of hard work bringing this creature back from the brink of extinction, has announced it is getting rid of the Elephant and exchanging it for the Ignoramus Americanus, or more jocularly known as the "Idiot".

This creature can be identified by several characteristics. The Ignoramus Americanus exhibits herd mentality faithfully following their lead or Alpha. This can be a male or female Ignoramus. When threatened with reality or facts they exhibit a closing of the ranks, not unlike the Turkey when threatened with rain, so as not to let any outside thoughts ruin their beautiful but imaginary mental landscape. When these facts become so obvious to the rest of the Nation the Ignoramus Americanus begins to use words like "Traitor" and "Un American" to defend this Imaginary Mental Landscape. The most telling sign of the Ignoramus Americanus is of course when you ask them a question. Their answer will either be absolutely identical to their Alpha's latest speech, or they will respond with, "Gosh I'll have to check Fox News to see what I think about that."

Political Action Groups representing Elephant rights were "disappointed" with the replacement of the Ignoramus Americanus as the National Symbol of the Republican Party, but being moderate and having no real organization, they just let the movement for the new symbol roll right over them.
posted by Mike 11:35 AM

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The musings and meanderings of an overworked and underemployed mind